Julie Doesn't Do Israel...

I would like to take a moment and mention what a few people have been thinking...and some even brought to my attention. Apparently...my blog web address is very similar to a very popular... how do I put this delicately.... porno.

I can say with complete honesty: I had no idea that there was a film of the adult persuasion named "Debbie Does Dallas". I know that those of you who know me personally probably know that this was just an unfortunate faux pas. Classic Julie. For those of you whom I have yet to meet, this is a little awkward... but then again, so am I.

Good talk, folks. 

See?? I am such a goober!

Desert Storm

Negev Adventures: Day 2. Friday we had a 3am wake-up call. Naturally a morning person, even I have my limits. I reserve waking up that early for traveling or trips to Disney World. It also helped that Jeremy was texting me at 2:30am. Hat? Check. Three liters of water? Check. Flashlight? Check. Raincoat? Nah...it's the desert, I won't need that. My bad. According to our tour guide, it rains less than 250mm a year. Based on my experience, the Negev met its quota this past weekend. So, once it started drizzling, the tour guide made us stop (seeing as we were hiking in a ravine). She was worried about getting swept up in an imminent flash flood... no need to start panicking, right? She led us to a plateau where we proceeded to sit in a circle to read passages about the desert...on the cold rocks. Finally, the drizzle stopped (for now), we had a mini rave sesh, then continued our hike.

Nina and Itzik (our counselor) *rocking* the night hike!

Once we started moving again, my spirits lifted... There was also the promise of an amazing breakfast that kept me going. (There were no pancakes, but the tuna fish was delish) It also helped that it felt like it was noon - even though it was barely sunrise. After breakfast, we walked (relatively flat) to the nature preserve. Here we finally encountered indoor plumbing... though most of the group used the natural bathroom. I am lucky enough to say that I'm the 1% that didn't.

The nature preserve is beautiful. Just after telling us that we might encounter wildlife (specifically the diabetic sand rat) we saw a family of ibex! (ibexeem in plural?) I overheard some Midwesterner mention how they see so many deer at home (that home being OHIO...), and that she wasn't impressed by these 'deer'. PSH! Ibex are so much cooler than deer! Can a deer scale a mountain side? No! Deer just stare at you when you are driving.

The Ibex. Nature's tightrope walkers. Such bad *asses*.

Next, we came upon a pretty waterfall...whose name escapes me...Ein something or another. (Not Ein Gedi) But we took a lovely picture in front of it, so I figured I'd mention it.

Sarah, Nina, Me, Sara, and Jenn

After this lovely part, we had to do some strenuous work in order to make it to lunch. Does my blog surround food? I didn't notice. As you can sorta see from the picture above... We are deep in the canyon. The only way out is UP. Seeing as I don't readily have access to a curmudgeonly old man or 10,000 balloons...we had to climb.

Only half-way. Can you see Molly down there? I think she got a pic of me throwing up the U!

After the steep switch-backs, we encountered the rusty ladder portion of this perilous climb. It may have been my mild fear of heights, or my diligence, but it is possible that I took my time climbing the ladders. At one point I couldn't find Nina in front of me... but I could feel Eric breathing on my neck ankles... so I very eloquently requested, "Don't rush me, Brah!" Apparently Nina wasn't that far ahead where she heard it and thought my fear-induced comment was hysterical.

"Don't rush me, Brah!"

Just a quick note, because most of you know I can talk about this all day... We went to a goat farm!! We tasted goat cheese and goat yogurt. We saw kids and big goats. Sadly, these Negev goats don't get the pleasure of mowing lawns... ::sigh:: one day, Julie.... one day.

A goat drinking goat yogurt... [insert Inception reference]

Skip ahead to Shabbat! Friday night it POURED!!! Saturday we were scheduled to go for a medium hike... keep in mind this hike is within walking distance of the hostel because of the Sabbath. So we started our hike, mostly downhill... (family and Vermonters: the terrain started out like the ending of Stirling Pond...so basically we sat down and butt-scooted our way to the bottom). At one point we leveled out at a road... after a few minutes it dawned on me that this road was the same one we crossed not 26 hours before (this time it was completely flooded)! We were so close to the hostel when everyone was peeing in the desert! Finally we had to hike up the steep part. Itzik (our counselor) told us this hike would take us 40 minutes (so I was mentally preparing myself for the Pinnacle - or at least the Fire Tower Hike...) I timed it... it took me 11:46 (and only because I stopped half-way to pretend take a picture to real catch my breath).

Me, Sarah, Molly, Lilah, and Miriam - because Molly is sitting right next to me and was bummed she wasn't in any of the pictures because she's on the other bus.

The view from our hostel... which I'm now pretending is the view from the hike.

Last but not least. We went to the grave of Ben-Gurion. Only at the last moment I realized I was here five years ago on Birthright with Jeremy. I tried (and failed). It would have been really cute. Oh well, the moment has passed.

Dessert in the Desert

Hey Friends! I hope you didn't miss me *too* much while I was "camping" in the Negev Desert. I also would like to apologize for those of you who were misled by my loose usage of the term camping. We stayed for 3 days and 2 nights in a nice hostel/community (but I'll talk about that later). I haven't decided if I want to make this a super long post or break it up into segments. I think it will be determined by my desire to go to bed. (It's nearly midnight, and we have Ulpan bright and early tomorrow).

So, let's get to it. Thursday morning we boarded our buses and headed south. We met our tour guide and our medic. We did not waste anytime getting to our first hike. We hiked the Makhtesh. (Here's a link if you want to learn more about the Makhtesh) The first part was steep, but the rest was relatively flat. (Actually, the only gripe I had about any of the hikes was that the terrain consists of small rocks and loose sand/dirt...which is different from what I'm used to...) We did hike pretty close to the edge which was unnerving, so obviously now you all know how much of a badass I am. But then again we were passed up by 14 year old girls while we were eating our lunches.

Our tour guide showing us where we were located.

Nina, Ariel, Me, and Miriam looking out over the "crater"... It's not technically a crater, but I got tired of saying Makhtesh.

After our 3 hour tour of the Makhtesh, we were taken to an authentic (illegal) Bedouin settlement. (Authentic - as opposed to the "touristy Bedouins" that Birthright takes us to with the camels etc etc.) They are considered illegal because they are unrecognized by Israel. For further information: click here. Here we enjoyed some delicious tea, and we got to hear about Ali's life, 2 wives, 12 kids, and his experiences as a Bedouin.

Molly and Sarah enjoying some Bedouin tea. I also love the color coordination.

Finally, we arrived at the hostel just in time for us to drop our bags off at our rooms and scurry to the dining hall. I would also like to add that having Molly join us in our room was delightful. I truly enjoyed the extra Miami presence. There was a bonfire after dinner where we attempted to make Israeli s'mores. Let me just say... few things are more American than the s'more. The marshmallows might have had a strawberryish flavoring, the chocolate was not milk (and too thick to melt), and the graham crackers were tea biscuits. Don't get me wrong. We devoured those s'mores like we'd never see food again (ok, we did that at every meal), I just wanted you to know that they weren't your traditional bonfire treat. 

We went to bed early that night because we had a 3 AM wake-up call for our night hike. But that is a story for another day....specifically tomorrow because I am exhausted and am going to bed.

Do You Know The Muffin Man?

Today I will tell you about our neighbors at Beit Leni. Next door to our apartment building is this amazing bakery. Despite the title of this entry, I have not actually seen a muffin. I'm totally okay with that. The breads and pastry selection is so vast that I could eat a different one each day if I wanted to...but of course I don't venture too far from what I know. Also, the prices here are phenomenal. I can get a mini loaf of challah for 1.90 shekels... or 50 cents. They're also opened rather late! So last night I bought one of those mini challahs, "grilled" up the chicken, and made a delicious sammich. Great...now I want a chicken sandwich.

This morning Sarah and I were feeling adventurous, so we opted to test a new (new to us) pastry. We weren't sure if it had cheese inside...but whatever it was, it was deeeelicious. (Upon further pondering, we decided it had a custard filling.)The man is so nice. He works with us on our Hebrew numbers. In the beginning he just pointed at the register, but now that he sees us everyday, he has become friendlier.

Artistic rights belong to Nina Baker. Not to confuse with Pastry Baker.

Not only does this bakery carry pastries galore, they also serve savory pizza/sandwich/bread (for lack of better term) things. Jenn prefers the pizza rolls - they look like cinnamon buns but instead it is a pizza. If I am starving - we work up quite the appetite in Ulpan class - I would get a piece of bread with cheese, onions, and zucchini (or tomato) on it. I don't pick all of the tomatoes off, Mom. The cheese breads are hefty, so I have only had it when I didn't pack a snack for class. Most of our classmates go down the street for 6 shekel felafel. (It's not my thing, but they love that stuff!)

The cheese/onion/zucchini bread on the right. The rolls on the left look like they could be from District 4 (you know what I mean, Amanda)

Molly Piccione and I are enjoying our pizza breads during break.

Tomorrow we are leaving bright and early for our weekend trip in the Negev. We will partake in a multitude/smattering/excess of hikes (one of which will be at the atrocious hour of 3:30 AM)... so I will write aaaaaallllllllll about our desert fun when I get back.

Julie's Jerusalem Day Trip

I am going to make this hot-mess of a day a concise post. Basically I had to travel back to Jerusalem for my internship interview. In order to do so, I had to take a grand total of four buses and two metro's. Because I have an inability to grasp simple geography or directions, I spent an hour yesterday with Jenn figuring out my route to my internship. We decided that if I left the apartment at 9:15a, I would arrive in Jerusalem around 11:30 with plenty of time to spare to get lost once before finding the office building. I would also like to mention that growing up in South Florida has given me a disadvantage - for I take the weather for granted. I just assume it will be at the coldest: Sweater Weather. Well, let's just say it was 39*F and rainy in Jerusalem...compared to the high 50s and sunnyish in Tel Aviv. I bought a colorful umbrella at the Jerusalem bus station (but don't get too attached...I forgot it on the bus when we got back to Tel Aviv).

Skip ahead 3 hours - after my meeting/leaving my meeting/almost getting back to the metro(light rail)/getting called back to sign one more paper... I was on the bus back to Tel Aviv. We were about to arrive at the Tel Aviv Central Bus Station where I could catch my fourth and last bus back to the apartment when the bus driver kicked us all out... a few blocks from the station. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. But the streets were caution-taped off...and this nice gentleman from Montreal (yes I told him about the house in Stowe) speculated that they evacuated the station because of a mysterious package. People really need to put return labels on their mail. Anywho. We circled the station looking for the bus stop we both needed to get back to our respective places. The wind started to pick up, and the heavens opened upon us. Tired of being lost and cold in the rain, I got in a cab and came home.

I realize that I usually drive the Struggle Bus... but in this case, I was driving the Struggle Mack Truck (courtesy of fellow UM alumna and Career Israel participant: Molly Piccione)

Tel Aviv's Hottest Club is....

Tel Aviv's hottest club is MAD. Where you can party with Jew Diamond Phillips.
Don’t be thrown off when you’re greeted at the door by a rabbi that looks Joaquin Phoenix.

Tonight the group is going to a club. Unfortunately I have been feeling under the weather, so I will stay home and watch the new Reese Witherspoon movie. I am sad, but I want to get better for Saturday. They are bringing in a bunch of Israelis for us meet. I feel the collection of people will be slightly more civilized on Saturday compared to the boys at the club... or the ones we met at karaoke on Tuesday.

Today in Ulpan class our teacher took us out into the world to work on our week's worth of Hebrew knowledge. Basically we walked up and down the street looking at storefronts and reading their signs. We learned the word for "sale" - which I am sure we will put to good use. We also asked strangers in passing for the time or how to get to the shuk. I also learned how to write my name in script. Now I can sign autographs for my fans.

We had a lecture from this adorable from Ethiopian rabbi. He kept commenting how Israelis think Ethiopians are cute. The schedule said "Ethiopian Jewery". My friends kept saying we had a lecture on jewwwrriiee. Every they said that, I would look up wondering why they were saying my name. (Aw, Juwrrie).

Finally, Sarah and I made stir-fry for dinner. By Sarah and I, I mean: I made the stir-fry, and Sarah gave moral support and put the noodles in the pot. Considering we have only a hot plate and a microwave, I feel we did a top notch job! (Let's see Rachael Ray work in these conditions.) I found Kikkoman's teriyaki sauce - it's no Mr. Yoshida, but it's good.

I know it's very 'brown' - we forgot the broccoli.

Tomorrow is Shabbat. We will try to do our laundry before the "laundromat" closes. (It's a coffee shop with 4 washers and 3 dryers.....) Cross your fingers! I'll keep you posted.

"The Dude" and Hoodies.

Today I would like to tell you about "The Dude". The Dude is the water heater. He is very chai maintenance (I went there). You have to turn on the switch outside the bathroom, but then you have to wait 20-30 minutes until he is ready for you. BUT the Dude can't be turned on for too long or he'll explode. We would rather not flood the apartment. I was the first to test out the Dude. Mom, let's just say the water at the log cabin in Yosemite was like a sauna compared to my arctic plunge. The second shower was a little better. I let him warm up a little longer. As I was rinsing the shampoo and about to condition, the warm water disappeared. No warning what-so-ever. I think now we are getting a handle on the Dude. We'll see tomorrow.

After Ulpan, Nina, Sara (Nina's roommate), and I went to the mall to take advantage of the hoodie sale. Sara acted as Sarah's proxy in the hoodie decision. The deal is 200 shekels for 3 sweatshirts (alone they are 170... so who wouldn't want to team up and get matching sweatshirts). We spent a long time deliberating sizes, styes, and colors. We finally checked out, and at the register, I figured I would ask the clerk if she knew where one (specifically Sara) would get a hair straightener. Apparently a simple question turned into an ordeal. She pulled me behind the counter and proceeded to call her friend (a male hairdresser). Then, she shoved the phone receiver into my ear. I asked him where I could find a hair straightener, and he said "probably in Dizengoff". Super helpful, seeing as that's where we were located. Sadly, we did not locate the flat iron, but we did get matching sweatshirts in 3 vibrant colors.

On the phone while the sales associate helps this man pick out scarves for his son. Thank goodness, he didn't choose the lilac one.

Tel Aviv and Ulpan

Today (Monday, Feb 13) we started our Ulpan classes. There are four different classes: Aleph, Aleph Plus, Bet, and Gimel. My roommates (Jenn and Sarah) are super smart and are in Aleph Plus. I am in Aleph...the most basic Hebrew class. My friend (Nina) and I refer to it as Aleph Minus. We learned a lot today - and I have already learned my knowledge in town. We learned phrases like "Hi, my name is..." "Who are you?" "Where are you from?" "Where do you live now?" We learned numbers and the first 8 letters. I'm practically fluent now. I'm so glad those four women made me feel like I was bringing shame to my family for not knowing Hebrew. My teacher is not one of the original four horsewomen; she is very nice and teaches at a quick pace. The location of our classroom is next to a dog park (actually my bedroom overlooks it). I can also tell you more about the classroom building in a private conversation, if you are more curious.

After classes, our "counselor" took us on a walking tour of Tel Aviv to show us where things like the market, the landromat, good restaurants, and the Shuk are located. When that ended, I went with Nina to wander towards the Mediterranean Sea. I am 97% sure I passed Jeremy's old apartment on our journey. I walked on the beach and touched the water! (that's more than I have ever done at home). We walked to the Shuk and did some produce shopping. The vegetables are so inexpensive here, and we already made a friend at a stall because he was patient with us and encouraging when we tried to use the numbers we learned. We agreed that we will frequent his shop - it also helps that his produce looked amazing.

"Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk." ~Jack Handy

The closest I've willingly been to a body of salt water in a few years. Having dinner on Atlantic Avenue doesn't count, apparently.

Finally, Sarah, Jenn, and I went to the Dizengoff Center to go grocery shopping. After circling the mall and passing the store without realizing it, we were stopped by an overzealous Israeli soldier. He wanted to ask our opinions. He wanted to know who we would name as the sexiest man alive. We contemplated this for a moment, and Sarah decided on Ryan Gosling (good choice). Then, he proceeded to make her pretend he was Ryan (yes, we're on a first name now with Mr. I-Wrote-You-Every-Day-For-A-Year), and if she were to run into Ryan right now in the mall, what would she do? Obviously, in the presence of such a specimen, we would be awestruck. He made her stop him in passing, Sarah sheepishly said, "Hi," and faux-Ryan didn't even bat an eye. In her second attempt, Sarah chose the romantically eloquent, "Excuse me, Ryan, your shirt's untucked." At this point, Jenn and I were in hysterics in the middle of the mall. It worked. Who knew? What an effective pick-up line! Faux-Ryan, aka Yail, aka YaYa  taught us how to say "Your shirt is untucked" in Hebrew. (don't ask me how to say it now, I'm still struggling with cursive). With a last bit of advice, YaYa told us not to make aliyah (I told him you said the same thing, Mom).

Orientation (part deux)

Orientation week wrapped up pretty quickly - we celebrated Shabbat, had some lecturers, and on Sunday we visited the Seam (the area next to the wall/fence that separates East Jerusalem from the West Bank). It was very interesting to see the maps change from 1948 to present day (our tour guide had props). As a visual learner - and someone afraid of accidentally wandering into East Jerusalem and getting kicked out of the program - maps are good. The fence/wall is 5% concrete wall 9m high, and the rest is a large fence. It is very effective at keeping terrorists out of the peripheral cities. There have still been some attacks in Jerusalem since the wall was erected - but that's because there are still some angry people on the Israeli side of the wall.

Here you can see the concrete wall and the fence. Behind the partition is Bethlehem (Jesus's birthplace)

 

 

Next, we went back to Ben Yehuda street, and we purchased our bedding and other amenities - then we got on the bus to go Tel Aviv. The bus ride was surprisingly short. That's good for when I move back to Jerusalem - so we can visit our Tel Aviv friends. Our apartment is large for Beit Leni standards - I live in a quad - two rooms, one bathroom, two chairs. The kitchen makes me miss DC.

FINALLY. We had our oral Hebrew exam. I walked into a room with four matronly women. One old lady had a purple babushka-thingy and looked like she just drank sour milk. They bombarded me with questions, and when my deer-in-the-headlights look wasn't convincing enough I said, "can't we just agree that I'm in the most remedial class?" They looked at me like I am an abomination for not knowing Hebrew. (Mom, don't tell Mrs. Kerper)

Tomorrow's the first day of Ulpan. I have my brand new backpack and a fresh outfit. Too bad Mommy's not here to take my picture in the driveway as I'm waiting for the school bus.

Don't forget to download Whatsapp so we can chitchat. :)

Orientation Week (part 1)

Hey - I have been so busy! I arrived in Jerusalem on Wednesday (2/8) and have been moving nonstop! Orientation week is jam-packed with activities, meeting people, and having everyone stress about their Tel Aviv roommate situation (I'll come back to that one). It took me two days to get the blackberry unlocked and on the Israeli data plan. So now you can bbm, email, or whatsapp me.

There are roughly 80 people on the trip...and 70 have their internships in Tel Aviv. (Which leaves 10 in Jerusalem - including me - 3 girls and 6 or 7 boys, we're not sure yet) So while everyone has been stressing about picking their roommate for the next 5 months, we are together by default. I'm grateful because who needs the added stress. It helps that my roommates are cool.

Yesterday (2/9) we went touring of Jerusalem. We went to the Kotel (Western Wall for those of you who may fall under the shiksa category), we tried to go to the Dome of the Rock - but once we got to the front of the line (after standing in the sun for 40 minutes) they said they were closing (whomp whomp), and we went to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

Today we went to a forest and planted tiny trees for a belated Tu Bishvat. I was just about to finish planting my tree (I hadn't even had a chance to name it) when the heavens opened up and it started hailing. (ps it's cold here). So we all ran back to the mud in what they call dirt. I call it dirty softball clay-mud. Then they took us to the shuk....at 1pm....BEFORE THE SABBATH. Talk about madhouse!

It's now Shabbat, and we're technically not supposed to be on the phone or Internet in common places - but since we can't get Internet in our room at this hostel, we are allowed in this one space. I was hoping to relax, but they have a full schedule for us tomorrow!

Finally - to answer the question "is that hummus?" - YES. oh my goodness! When in doubt, yes, that is hummus. I found out today that the average Israeli consumes 22POUNDS of hummus in a year. goodness!

In a Newark State of Mind

So close, yet so far! In my 5+ hour layover (just got an email that my flight may have been delayed...but they're not sure yet) I wanted to pop on over to NYC to see my friends...but I realized I would have just enough time to give everyone a hug, have a panic attack from the filth, take a shower, and hurry on back. Ergo, I decided to stay put and enjoy my last turkey and cheese sandwich (thanks Mom!). There's nothing like moving to a Kosher nation that will get you to appreciated cheesus. 

My first flight was not tooo terrible. It was sparsely populated, so I didn't sit next to anyone. But they make you pay $7.99 to watch the tv. Laaaammee. So I just watched Valentine's Day over the shoulder of the person in front of me. The man across the aisle got drunk at 8:30am and then proceeded to laugh/cry throughout the movie. 

Now I'm just relaxing around Newark - they charge an arm and a leg for wifi, and my new/old blackberry can't handle blogspot, so Mom is ghostwriting for me. Fingers crossed. Also, thanks Jenna for the list of songs to download. Maybe I'll read the Mindy Kaling book and make friends by laughing out loud. 

Ok I will check in later...  

Not Bob's Law Blog

If you haven't heard... which is surprising, because you're reading my blog... I am going to Israel for 5 months. The first month I'll be living in Tel Aviv learning Hebrew. The final four months I'll move to Jerusalem for my internship: Health Promotion Campaigns intern at the Ministry of Health (or as I refer to it: the Ministry of Magic) - though the commute is less exciting (bus).

I am writing this blog purely for your entertainment. I know, how selfless of me. It is the easiest way for me to update you on my activities. If you want more details on whatever - feel free to email me. Or download the Whatsapp so we can 'text'. I'll try to update this blog as much as possible because I know how boring it is to follow someone who only updates their blog a handful of times. ::cough::Jeremy::cough::

What else can you expect from me? I hope a good chuckle, some funny anecdotes, and (of course) obscure pop culture references. Alright!